My closest colleague noticed that I always say blah blah blah….so it doesn’t go bananas, like in crazy. I started thinking about it and I guess I do that. But I love bananas! it’s such a loved but underappreciated fruit. Many people eat it and always expect it to be in their lives even when they live in a place opposite to where it grows. It is sweet, beautiful, filling and just great…but when it gets a bit brown then people start eyeballing it and having all kinds of negative thoughts, it smells too much, it’s going to be too sweet, it looks ugly, let’s just throw it! When I was a child, we never threw ripe bananas, we gave them to the birds and they loved it.
Yesterday I sat with a man who is quite interesting. He is a father of five and has seven grandchildren and one on the way. This older man and I have worked together in the same workplace for about six months and we had never actually had that “who are you?” conversation. After all the where do you live, marital status, how old are you? questions, he asked me if it was hard that I only had a work contract for six more months and he was concerned that my mom looked kind of stressed out the day before (when she came to my work to pick up keys). He was so much more loving and empathetic than I thought. He is usually quite grumpy, and he complains too, so this conversation made me smile and again reminded me to never judge a banana by its peel.
Friday staff breakfast, yes! bread, store-bought cheese, dry vegetables, store-bought jam, coffee and dairy milk mmm, an excellent time to bond! People relaxing, people talking about their lives outside work, gratefulness, best wishes for the weekend and smiles. The question comes my way, so what are you doing on the last week of your holiday? I get that flushed smiley face. I tell them all about my kind of uncertain last-minute plans to attend an event on the other side of the planet for a week and maxing it out by arriving back home in the evening and going straight to work the next day. Something I keep promising myself I won’t do again. Maxing it out and being totally wired and tired at work for the rest of the week. But, I just need to do this one, cause it’s meaningful and important! They look at me with that look of mixed wonder, doubt, excitement, and confusion. We take or next sip of coffee, take a bite of the bread and they ask, are you continuing here? what are you going to do after your contract ends and you should pay the extra fee to get the extra Insurance money! I explained that I would like to create something for myself and that I think I can do it. I saw their looks for a second, thinking…hm, I don’t know what they were thinking really, but it was maybe amazement or doubt. It doesn’t really matter. It felt good saying it out loud!
My initial thought to the insurance question was, no, I haven’t thought of that and I don’t need that…and that turned to or do I? Maybe I do? Perhaps I should pay the fee so I can get some extra money on top of my unemployment insurance? when I am done here I will check it out. Which one should I choose? and then I caught myself quickly and thought, of course, I feel fear about making a living working for myself, but If I remember my whys and that I am doing this for a higher purpose and doing a service for others, I am doing the right thing. I don’t need to pay that extra fee. I think I will be fine. Like a bird, I can fly and eat overripe bananas and my actions will determine my success.
But for now, let’s just finish that slightly dry bread slice with cheese and dry cucumber on top.